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Lets Talk Skin.

This is a post I never imagined I'd write, as I guess I thought it was 'normal' and an 'everybody had it' kind of thing; which now makes me feel very naive. Now, I am an avid watcher of the YouTuber Talia Mar and I love her for not just her videos but music, instagram, fashion everything, you name it she does it all.  One of her latest videos made me relate to her even more about something I never imagined could make me feel closer to someone.  

Not related to this post but she released a song, amongst a load of others, called The Voices Are Me and it is a song all about mental health and it is incredible.

abbwhi www.abbwhi.com

Now, I have suffered with eczema my whole life, literally since I was a baby and it is something that I don't feel like ever really goes away. It breaks out on different parts of my body at different times of the year but you could almost bet on the fact that if ever someone asked me on a random day, I would have it somewhere. The worst part for me has always been my hands and especially in-between my fingers or where my fingers bend, to the point where they crack and it can get really deep to where they bleed and it is really painful to bend them. Since watching Talia's video about her skin it made me realise mine was not quite as bad as she severely suffered when washing her hands as it feels like she has put her hands in acid, which I could not even imagine how that must feel. The issue and most annoying thing with it being on your hands is that you have to wash your hands all the time, but this can dry your hands out which then makes it worse and different soaps can aggravate it, there is literally no escape. Due to having eczema on my hands it has made me hate my hands due to feeling that they are now like 'wrinkly' and 'old' looking, this is how I always describe them. 

My hands, unfortunately are not the only place I suffer with eczema but I always suffer on my legs and arms in random places. When I danced full time I would always suffer really bad behind my knees and on the inside of my arm where your arm bends. I used to be so so self conscious of it to the point where I would wear long sleeved tops when I was dancing, which obviously did not help as it makes it sweat and it gets even more aggravated. At times it would be so bad it literally looked as though I had been scold with a boiling kettle and some people are so narrow minded they just don't understand and make remarks about it. Even though I do not dance anymore I still suffer with ecezma in these places but I just get smaller patches in random areas on my arms and legs, if I wear a watch for too long it can create eczema on my wrist or if a ring rubs on the finger next to it then it can develop there. 

For me, the worst time of the year is usually winter when it is colder my skin just does not like it. For some weird reason this year my skin decided to act up in the summer and it is has been a nightmare. My skin just seems to not be able to cope with any severe change in weather and with it being because my skin gets dry, even if I moisturise it, it can irritate it immensely and make it even more itchy, annoying and cover more surface area. My eczema can also worsen if I get stressed as my skin decides to mirror how I am feeling. 

abbwhi www.abbwhi.com

An area, I related to with Talia on even more was the issues when it comes to tan and I don't just mean fake tan. Yes, fake tanning when you have eczema is not the best of ideas (but when you used to dance and have spray tans all the time it is a slight issue) because you for sure won't have an even tan and it will get patchy and cling to the dry patches. BUT actual tanning like in the sun can still give you a dodgy tan because this holiday I have developed white rings on the back of my hands where I previously had eczema and they just no longer catch the sun. This is a tiny issue in relation to the big picture of just getting through your day to day life without it getting any worse or with minimum pain but it was worth mentioning. 

In relation to why I am writing this post, since watching Talia's video and seeing the questions she got asked it made me very aware that not as many people have this as I imagined or just know nothing about it and it is something I have literally grew up living with. She received so many questions about if it knocked her confidence or mad her insecure and she was so honest about it and I have to agree I used to be SO insecure. Like I said I used to dance in a long sleeved top and wear tights or leggings so my actual legs weren't on show. I used to hide my hands inside jumpers or just avoid doing anything where people could see them because I was so worried about what others might say. Now I do not care as much in the slightest because I have just accepted this is something I am living with. I did get bothered when I worked in retail and in between my little finger and the one next to it used to get really bad if I wore rings and they rubbed and then it would get itchy so I'd itch it but then it would spread down my hand and obviously in retail on the tills people would see your hands all the time. That used to bother me a bit initially to the point where I would try and get a transaction through the till as quick as possible so they wouldn't have time to see them. Like I say, I have got passed this now to the point where I really could not care if people see it, I am trying to sort it or prevent it getting worse but I know this is part of my life and it has been for as long as I can remember. 

If you want to hear Talia's story about it click here. It is such a good video and she answers all the questions people have been dying to know about it with no filter. Remember, everyone's story and experiences are different but it really can affect people so please be nice. 

Much love 

x


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