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The 'D' word.

Abbwhi Mental Health

Why is it some words we are completely accepting of or at least a little more understanding of and yet some still terrify people to say out loud. The word anxiety gets thrown around so much that somehow it is viewed that little bit more accepting - so many people say 'oh that makes me anxious' or 'oh that gives me anxiety'. Yet this might not mean they have a diagnosis, it does make it that little bit easier when you do have to admit you are stuck with that diagnosis - at least in some instances (I am not saying this is the same for everyone but from personal experience and from talking to others this is what was discovered). If only it was the same for all words. The word I am talking about is depression, look there I said it. 

How?
Lets begin with a little about how this relates to me. I was stuck in a place that I know I should of escaped from - maybe one day I will talk about all that but I don't know. This, along with other things led to a world of numbness, no emotion, numerous breakdowns a day to not leaving my house. Which greeted me with a diagnosis. When I was first diagnosed I almost felt a sense of shame around the word, I never wanted to admit that that was what I had because I knew it wasn't as accepted or understood as it should be. I'll admit before I was diagnosed I was probably like everyone else too, I guess it's a thing of you say the word depression and people either think you are just sad or suicidal, people don't see that in-between - which lets face it, is the really messy part. 

Talking 
Everyone always says talking to people is the best thing you could do, which I admit it can be but then it can also make things so much worse. Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way. I will never forget a time when I went to talk to someone about it and they outright laughed in my face - can you imagine how that made me feel?! This person was one of the very first people I actually opened up to and it made me feel like I could never talk to anyone about it again. Thankfully, everyone else in my life has been amazing and completely understanding of it but this experience really set me back and made me feel more alone than I was already feeling which I did not really think was possible.

Abbwhi Mental Health



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I mentioned previously how everyone else was understanding but lets face it unless you experience it first hand you never really fully get it. For my parents this was extremely difficult, they had no clue what to do, what to say or how to help and truthfully, they couldn't do anything. They can't solve it. They can't take it away. They just have to be there and that is literally what they did. Yeah, my mum cried numerous times because she didn't understand why I had it and she felt helpless but she was there for me and that is all I could of asked for at that time. I think the best thing anyone can ever do when it comes to coming across someone who suffers from mental health in any way is speak to them, ask questions, listen and go away and look it up yourself. My parents ended up reading things, I would talk to them when I could about things and they were always there to listen and that is all they could do. They learnt what worked for me, when I wanted to be on my own and when to come and ask if I wanted a cup of tea - no joke my mum would come and ask me this every morning.

The point 
The point of me writing this is the fact that yes to begin with I did almost feel a sense of shame and that I couldn't open up but this did change. After a few months I realised this is who I am - at least for now, maybe forever. This is me (queue The Greatest Showman  song). This is part of my life and it is something I have to deal with on a daily basis so why should I hide it from everyone else. If someone asks me now, how I am doing I will be honest. If I am having a bad day and they ask why, I will say my mental health is bad. I will say I have depression because I am not ashamed anymore - you shouldn't be either. Yes, mental health is becoming more accepted than it was beforehand but the stigma is still there and yet this is something we have to deal with on a daily basis. 

What are your views on mental health and the stigma?

Much love 

x

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6 comments

  1. Sending lots of cuddles. And very angry and shocked someone laughed in your face, so disrespectful! I feel mental health is very slowly becoming accepted as something a lot of people suffer with, which is good x

    Lily | The Wellbeing Edit

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    1. love you girl! i know it was horrible but it made me realise who I can trust! yeah we are definitely moving in the right direction but there is always room to grow! x

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  2. I think that the stigma surrounding mental health is slowly dropping away, but as someone that suffers with mental health issues, it find that it can sometimes be difficult to talk about it as a subject, not because of the stigma, but because it can be triggering for me as an individual to remember the struggles and the reasons why I’m suffering.. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I guess it’s difficult to explain, but I’m proud of you for writing this post and I hope you’re dealing with your issues well! 🖤

    Andi | www.andthenzen.co.uk ✨

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    1. oh bless you, I wish you all the best honestly and I am only ever a message away if you want to talk! I can totally relate because I hate to talk about how it all started and everything because it does bring the memories back! I am proud of you, you are surviving, you are here and you are doing so well! X

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  3. Sending you so much love and endless hugs! This is a super brave thing to open up about and we are all here for you whenever you need a talk about anything. I can't believe someone laughed in your face for sharing something so personal, that's appalling and I'm so glad that you managed to get past it and get proper help. Keep fighting gorgeous girl!
    Alice Xx

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    1. Thank you so much babe! Same goes to you my darling, you are so so brave and such an inspiration! X

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