Why The Early 20s is Hard!

Remember when you were younger all you wanted to be was older, you just wanted to grow up. Opposingly, all adults tell you not to wish your life away and that your teen years and your twenties are the best years of your life. All I can say is whoever said this was lying. Yes, I am 21 and I am only at the start of my twenties but my god this year has been the hardest of my life and I know I am not the only person feeling the struggle. You have so many thoughts and you feel as though you are supposed to have your life together. But are you? Maybe. Not really. 

The dream...
At the age of 20 are we really supposed to know what we want to do for the rest of our lives? I remember picking my options at school and having no clue as to what I wanted to do, I just picked things I enjoyed. Still today, I am studying in a field I enjoy but that does not pinpoint a specific career I have to go into. I sometimes wish I was in a different position in my life, I wish I was more settled and in a fixed job and was in a comfortable place but unfortunately right now, I am not there.
Each individual persons journey is different. If you go to University and your course is three years you will only just be finishing at the age of 21, then its time to sort your life out, unless you do a Masters then you'll be older. If you go straight from College into a job, you'll be earning decent money at the age of 18. You might start a course, hate it and completely change your mind and do something else. You might take a gap year and decide to travel the world. Everyone is at different stages and that is fine. 

Respect at 20, what's that?
People think you are supposed to know what you are doing but no one actually has respect for you. Adults look at though you are supposed to be adults but really you are clueless and coasting through life, anyone younger, well you are only a smidgen older so really there's no chance of respect off anyone. Most of us 20-somethings will still be living at home too because getting a mortgage nowadays is another mission entirely. It is hard work being in your 20s because suddenly you are given all the freedom in the world, where the hell has all this freedom come from, where has the structure gone? what am I supposed to be doing with my life?!  

I have had a lot of these thoughts because my journey has been different to a lot of people I know so I have found myself really struggling to find my feet. I was in dance training for 3 years then left to go to University. Therefore, I am in a different place to everyone else I know. Some of my friends have got a boyfriend or got married, brought their own house and are in good stable jobs and there's me, still studying and not conquered any of these things yet. It is all because I have taken a different root to all of these people and that was my individual choice. 

Who are your friends?
During your twenties you are in a constant phase of feeling lonely and lost, mostly because all of your friends are all getting on with their lives too. Or like me, you'll be questioning who those friends are. At school you have this massive group of friends and as soon as you leave, you are lucky if you are still in touch with a handful of those friends. Then if you go to college you make some new friends but then when you leave, the majority of those disappear too and the same thing happens if you go to university too. It is like a never ending cycle of replacing friends but the important question is who has stayed through it all? They are the ones who matter. They may be all over the place and you may go months without seeing each other but if they are still there for you, they are your true friends. Sometimes, you may feel lonely because they aren't around because suddenly you are standing on your own two feet and the realisation of growing up is real. 

The point of this post is realising that you are not alone. Every other person in their 20s is also feeling this way and it is completely fine. We are all on our own journeys and they are all at different paces and that is okay. 

The twenties is hard but we have got this. 

Much love 



  1. At the age of 26, I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life!
    You definitely start to work out who your real friends are though, that's true!
    Enjoy your 20s :)

    Dani x

  2. Loved this post! Everything you have said is so true x

    Lily | Covet Luxe

  3. I can relate to it so much. Your friends might change because they are in different stages of life, but the important thing is to know that, to appreciate them for what they were/are and to be open to make new friends too!!

  4. I can also relate to this post, I literally just turned 23 and I'm not exactly where I want to be in life. I'm studying for a masters part time and working part time, sometimes I get envious of my friends who have boyfriends, or apartments houses even cars (I can drive, I just don't have my full license yet) but then I realise that I'm on my own journey. I think us 20' somethings tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves. It's good to have goals but we also have to be adaptable to life.

    Freda Lee xx

  5. For me my early 20s were full of struggles.. I had to move out of my home city for work purpose and imagine all this after graduating from college. I had to quickly get accustomed to it but those days were great and I matured as an individual. I can very well relate to your blog post

  6. I totally agree with everything in this post it's so hard! The money struggles are definitely the hardest and the fact that there always seems to be something in the way of where you want to head to next. It's just a constant struggle but it's nice knowing you're not alone because most people are feeling the same.

    Ellie x

  7. I'm just approaching 18 and all I've heard from other people is that it all goes downhill from 21. I'm far too close to this age for my liking :(

  8. I am still in my early 20s, even though I am getting a master's degree. I say enjoy the time you're at university because things do get a bit complicated after you leave. I didn't realize how easy I had it while I was still getting my bachelor's degree. However, after you leave it's a different story. I wrote about this a couple of weeks ago (

    I do have to say that you're allowed to change your mind no matter where you are in life. I had a professor who has a bachelor's in English, then completed medical school, and then went on to be a church chaplain. He now teaches medical sciences during the year, and English during the summer sessions. What a story, right?

    -GG |

  9. I have been trying to put this into words for a long time but every time I go to write about it, my mind literally just goes into panic mode thinking about it haha! Your 20s are so bloody hard and everyone tells you they are but you don't actually get it until you're there and experiencing it, at least we're all in it together ey!
    Alice Xx

  10. I LOVE this post so much as I am 26 and still do not have my life sorted. The 20s have been the hardest century for me ... but it's not over yet and I can hope to flip it around! X
    Lola Mia //

  11. My god, reading this actually felt like you'd taken out my thoughts from the past month and put them into a blog post. I can completely relate! Thank god at the moment (at 23 mind you) I'm finally finding the direction I want to go in life, but honestly I'm struggling so much at the moment with feeling lonely and not having friends. It sounds lame writing it out like that but growing up I always had friends, that was never even slightly a worry but the older I've gotten, the more friends have drifted away and now I'm left feeling so dang lonely...

    Julia // The Sunday Mode

  12. Thank the lord someone else feels the same as me 🙌🏻 I'm petrified of turning 21 in a week I don't have a clue where I'm going and I graduate next year! I'm questioning whether I should of done the course! The friends bit so true I don't speak to anyone anymore!
    Love this post!

  13. I can relate to this post so so much. I'm also 21 (well almost 22 but ah well), and I didn't feel so alone reading this!
    Ebony \\

  14. Wow, you've just put every emotion that I'm feeling right now into words! I'm 20, haven't been to University and have never settled on a career path. I think getting into our twenties is really difficult.... It's like we think we have to know exactly what we want and where we're going, and if not, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do it as quickly as possible. This is certainly the case for me and I feel like I've lost a little bit of myself along the way. Reading this post was a real comfort to me, and I know it will be for so many others too! Thank you for sharing it! X